CyclingDiver Once More... Well Nearly

The first part of my blogging name is accurate again; I'm back on my bike, and very happy about it. I like cycling for a lot of reasons, partly the free transport, partly the ability to move heavy stuff around without knackering my back, but mostly for the same reason kids ride BMXs; it's just fun. Even if I did have to spend fifteen minutes with a headlamp, a tiny screwdriver and a lot of swearing to put the new battery into the bike computer's sensor.

I will be back swimming in the sea tomorrow. Not fully diving - the sea isn't really open for business just yet - but it's good training for when I'm back donning the drysuit to play with the seals. I also managed to run 5K without stopping the other day, and whilst doing this on the treadmill is not particularly impressive, it's still something I'm quite proud. All is well in the domain of CyclingDiver.

Chased by a Giant Banana

You know those dreams where you’re being chased by something in a random location?

Recently I was chased around the main hall of the Eldon Leisure Centre by a giant banana carrying a golf club caddy.

Well okay, it wasn’t an actual banana. It was a man in a banana suit and we were doing circuits round the hall.

If you’re wondering, it was his 50^th birthday. Apparently this chap is famous among the regular circuiteers for eating banana sandwiches in the sauna after a workout (…?), so for his birthday they insisted he wear a banana suit and carry a golf club caddy around whilst doing the circuits class. Later, they presented him with a cake in the shape of two women’s breasts, into which the instructor pushed his head whilst someone took a photo. Everyone kissed him on the cheek on the way out.

I understand that some people take drugs so that they can see weird things. Occasionally I wonder whether I can get some drugs that STOP me seeing weird things. Since I’ll be in Glastonbury next week for the festival, I may well need them. Back soon…

Got Shouted At By The Marines

And I paid for the privilege.

How did this come about? I paid £10 to take part in the Help for Heroes Boot Camp at Eldon Leisure. 90 minutes of what was essentially a circuit class with attitude. We were put into eight teams, and eight exercise stations were set up, complete with bellowing Marine instructors straight out of central casting.

You could have put these guys straight into a Hollywood movie: bellowing sadist (who you secretly know would be the guy who braves the mortar fire to drag his wounded comrade back to safety), thoughtful guy trying to prepare his recruits for the reality of going to Helmand Province and killing people ("I look for aggression in my trainees"), bald tattooed older guy, and several rather attractive young instructors who could have stepped off the recruiting posters. Since they were all in sleeveless white T-shirts, camoflage trousers and boots, it certainly made running round the Eldon Leisure Main Hall carrying a stretcher with 40 kilos of water in a more aesthically pleasing experience.

Although by the time I'd lugged a Bergen pack full of water over three wooden vaulting horses, pulled myself over them, then crawled on my hands and knees pushing the pack along the floor, I was too knackered to care.

Possibly I'm just a glutton for punishment, but I really would do it again.