CyclingDiver's Rules For Cycling Whilst Wearing A Hat

1. Don't.

2. If you do, tie the hat on firmly first.

3. If you ignore rules 1 & 2, avoid cycling down hills.

4. If you ignore rules 1, 2 & 3, and you go down a hill fast, and the hat starts coming off, ignore it. Under no circumstances give in to either of the contradictory urges to a) grab the hat, b) hit the brakes.

5. Otherwise you will plough the bike and yourself smack into the tarmac, knees first, knock the wind out of yourself, and knock your front wheel out of alignment, such that you have to pay the bike shop a tenner to realign it. And end up with bruises like these:

Yep, that was the famous "Fell off my bike whilst on a cycling holiday incident". That it was my own fault, and that I fell off because I'd gone to view a church, just added insult to injury.

Normally I Post This Stuff On The Other Blog

The other blog being the Lonkblig of infamous repute. However, this fits better here: the 10 worst cycling crashes ever. Do not read if squeamish.










Right now this damn blog's a misnomer anyway. I'm neither cycling nor diving, thanks to the weather, and it sucks. I've seen people out and about on bikes, but they're either a) on a mountain bike or b) accident statistics waiting to happen. I just keep my fingers crossed that the temperature gets above freezing regularly soon. I will cycle in wind and rain, but not ice and snow.

As for the diving? I'm starting to hallucinate the smell of wet neoprene, like a coffee addict doing detox hallucinating espresso.

It's as well I gave up on that whole "trying to be normal" thing a while back, now, isn't it?

Fell Off My Bike

Well, actually I didn't. I encountered a patch of black ice whilst turning right at a mini-roundabout and the back wheel skidded gracefully out from under me. The bike and I described a graceful arc down to the ground, where we lay on our sides for a second or two thinking "What the hell just happened?" Luckily there was nothing coming. There never is - it's a mini-roundabout in Shieldfield, near the patch of grass where the local kids like to set fire to stuff on Bonfire Night, and it's blocked off for cars, but not to bikes, which merrily pedal their way to and from the city centre, except when it's icy. (On the left is a nice picture of the sort of morning it was, as seen from the Civic Centre.)

I was fine, if stunned. It's winter and my current cycling rig is:

base layer,

middle-layer / fleecy jumper (on very cold mornings),

cycling jacket,

knee-length cotton socks from Primark (not cool but keep your calves nice and snug),

trainers,

thermal gloves,

helmet,

balaclava (again, if really cold),

padded shorts if it's really cold,

and, most importantly, thick fleecy jogging pants. (Also from Primark. Cheap and who cares if they get muddy?).

I had plenty of padding and walked away with nothing worse than a bruise on my right outer thigh.

More importantly, I had plenty of stuff in the panniers, which provided a nice gap in between the bike/my left and the road, so the bike wasn't harmed. (Lucky - I skidded with the gears-side nearest the road.) I heal for free, but I have to pay to get the bike repaired.

Anyway, I'm currently off the road, simply due to the fact that it's now so cold all the roads are icy, and my bike is a hybrid, not a mountain bike. Excellent for commuting and touring, not so good for anything requiring extra grip in slippy conditions. I'll be back on it soon, though, and when I am? I'll be on the main roads until winter is over.

If for no reason other than, for two nights afterwards, I would fall half asleep, find myself having a cycling dream, then waking up with a start as I dreamt about sliding off.

The second time this happened, I distinctly remember thinking: "Hey! Not fair!"