Saturday, 25 September 2010

Glastonbury Day 2: I Blame Wayne Rooney



Day 2 dawned bright and sunny.

Too bright and sunny; it was impossible to sleep inside the tents past 8am. I have a high toleration for heat, but even I found it was like trying to sleep in a greenhouse. Ironic, since the night had been freezing cold (well, not literally freezing, but so cold I’d struggled to get to sleep until I put a jumper, trousers and socks on). As the festival wore on, people began to adapt. Around 7-8am, you’d see the sleeping changeover. People in pyjamas would emerge from their tents, dragging their sleeping rolls and sleeping bags with them. Those with tents with awnings would curl up in the shade there, whilst those in smaller tents would kip in the shadow of their tent, or drape a large towel between their tent and a neighbour’s, thus creating a nice large shady spot for an al freso kip.

Nevertheless, we awoke, we stretched, we showered, we ate a cooked breakfast which was not bad except for the peculiar scrambled eggs, and then myself and N dashed off for our briefing in our bar. L, C, and T had not been assigned to a particular bar, so had an afternoon briefing, and a longer day to spend lying around the campsite relaxing.

N and I dashed about looking for our bar, found it behind a hedge near the Pyramid Stage, ducked into the backstage area, and wandered about looking for the briefing, which we knew had already started. I poked my nose into the backstage area of the bar, to be confronted by a tall young woman with long dark hair, a nose ring, a dark blue flowery dress and wellies, dangly earrings made from the loops in the middle of cassette tapes strung together, and the biggest three-cornered pirate’s hat - complete with skull - you’ve ever seen. She was one of the station managers.

We said hello, then N stuck his head in and yelled that he’d found the briefing in the staff rest area of the bar behind the tankers. WBC bars get through so much beer and cider, there are large tankers – the sort you see trundling along the M1 with “Carlsberg” written on the side – parked behind the bar tent. Meaning that a WBC bar is the only place you will hear a bartender using the excuse “Sorry I can’t serve you right now, we’re just changing the tanker”.

The briefing consisted of thirty volunteers of varying ages and genders sitting on the ground in the sunshine drinking water and listening to the bar manager, Paddy, and the assistant bar manager, Mark. Paddy was a huge bearded Irishman with a faintly piratical air, khaki shorts, a green Glastonbury T-shirt, a baseball cap and a cheerful grin. Mark was a smaller Englishman who, in his own words, was nearly thirty but looked about twelve. Paddy was running through the legal requirements of working on the bar, dwelling heavily upon the importance of asking everyone who didn’t actually have grey hair and wrinkles for ID.

As part of this, he explained the concept of the Filter of Shit. The Filter of Shit works as follows: if Paddy received from the police or the festival organisers about selling to underage people / not checking IDs / not selling correct weights and measures, he would then filter it down to Mark and the station managers, who would then filter it down to us. On the other hand, Paddy assured us, this also worked the other way and they were there to support us, so in the event of punters giving us shit about asking them for ID, we were to come and find him. “I LOVE dealing with people like that”, he declared, with the sort of grin I imagine Blackbeard would have worn upon spotting a Spanish galleon on the horizon. We went off to explore the bar area – familiar to me, since most WBC bars are set up the same way.

After that, we escaped into the sunshine and roamed through the festival site. It was all new to N, though not to me, although it was interesting to see the site so early on in the festival. I’d never been there on a Wednesday before, and it was nice to see people creating their own fun. Guitars were brought out and strummed, small stalls were opened, and people wandered freely in the sunshine sucking on large slices of watermelon. It was a truly scorching day, and for the first time ever at the Glastonbury festival I wished I’d brought a bikini.

We headed back to the WBC village to rendezvous with our friends, and found that L and C had gone off to buy chairs whilst we were gone. For a couple of hours we amused ourselves in the sunshine outside our tents, reading the programme, applying suncream, having a drink, customising the chairs with biros and generally hanging out and just chilling. They were a truly great bunch of people and I couldn’t have asked for better companions to spend the festival with.

Eventually, we prised ourselves away from lolling around in the sun, and went off to watch the England match on the big screens near the Pyramid Stage. L, C & T could only stay for half an hour as they had a bar briefing, but myself and N saw the whole match, or at least some of it – our view was obscured by a man with a skull and crossbones flag, who refused to move it despite increasingly strident protests and choruses of “Shit Flag No Fans” from people standing behind him.

N and I would have met up with the others afterwards, but they had been ambushed with an unexpected shift at the bar they’d had their briefing at, so we went for a wander. I found out that one of my favourite bands, Seize the Day, were playing that evening, so N and I made plans to see them, and headed back to the WBC Village for dinner and a drink. We changed into some warmer clothing, and discovered new and interesting patches of sunburn. I had one on my chest which precisely matched where the shawl I’d had round my shoulders whilst watching England had slipped, for which I’m blaming Wayne Rooney.

We marched off to the Mandela bar, only to find it very quiet and with no sign of music. Hmm. This did not bode well. Fortunately, there were some long drop toilets nearby, so I went off to check the band’s stickers with the performance times and locations on (whilst secretly wishing that Seize the Day would advertise somewhere less fragrant).

It turned out they were in the Mandala bar, not the Mandela bar. The Mandala bar was in the Green Fields. I looked at my watch; it was 8pm. We debated whether it was worth going, since we’d arrive in time for the last few songs… N persuaded me it was worth a try. I felt a bit guilty for dragging him all over the site, but we set off with determination, and arrived by 8.30pm. The Mandala bar turned out to be less of a bar than a large cafĂ© tent with a pedal-powered sound system. As we got there, there was no music drifting out, and we soon learned that technical problems had prevented the band starting on time.

Twenty minutes after we arrived, the band started, and the tent started cheering. It was a mixed crowd of families and passers-by, meaning that it was a polite sort of appreciation, but appreciation it definitely was. Seize the Day played their usual standards – “Designer Kidz”, “With My Hammer” – and gave us some new ones from their new album, with “Globalisation (The Pirate Song)” being especially popular. I trotted over afterwards to buy a CD from them, and we wandered slowly home to meet the others, who were more than slightly disgruntled at having had to work an unexpected shift. C had only had his prescription sunglasses with him (not much use if you need glasses to see and it’s dark in the tent), none of them had had warm clothing for when the temperature dropped in the evening, and L was really suffering with hayfever.

We medicated ourselves with a few drinks in the bar tent, compared our various patches of sunburn – C had the worst – and pottered off to bed. L and C kept us (and some friends we’d made who were camping nearby) awake, and entertained, for a while, with their endless affectionate arguing. I can’t remember all of it, but I do remember the following exchange:

L: “You’re just being really unfair…”
C: “Shut up, you! I should have left you in the car to bark at strangers! AARGH!”
(Pause)
T: “You putting the aftersun on your sunburn, C?”
Bundled in warm clothing against the cold night, we smiled and fell asleep.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Graffiti Philosophy


MotherOfCyclingDiver and I like to take photos of interesting things we see. Here's the results of an interesting exchange of photos of philosophical graffiti.

Spotted on a park bench in my home town:








and near the Cluny in the Ouseburn:


More tales of diving and Glastonbury will come soon, but I'm pushed for time, so it will probably be next week. Off to Bute at the weekend!

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Things You Don't Want To Hear Upon Surfacing At The Dive Boat, I

Which would be, as I surfaced from my dive, "The engine's conked out. Steve, get the rod... we're drifting a bit close to those rocks."

Oh, and I realised a vital piece of my equipment might one day kill me.

Winding the tape back. Yesterday I went on a boat dive to the Farne Islands. The Farne Islands are one of the North-East's, and probably the whole of the UK's best dive sites. A set of small rocky islands off the Northumberland coast, they are home to a wide variety of fish, a lot of lobsters and, most importantly, a colony of very friendly and inquisitive grey seals. Videos of divers playing with seals at the Farnes are common on Youtube, and I should add that the seals themselves like to come up and play. They are especially fond of nibbling divers' fins. I know one diver who said that, during one of his dives out there, he seemed to keep kicking his buddy in the face. No matter how hard he tried to move position to avoid it, it kept happening. Finally he turned around, and saw that a grey seal was thoughtfully chewing his fins.

As we arrived at the Farnes aboard our RIB*, the seals popped their heads up to see who was coming to play. I was doing my Deep Diver dives 2 and 3, down to 25 metres. Not my deepest ever dive - that was the 32m dive at Stoney Cove - but the deepest I've been in the sea.

We fell over the side of the boat, demonstrating the "backwards roll entry" which everyone has seen divers do, with varying degrees of proficiently. I kicked over fast to join my colleagues, who of whom suffered from seasickness and had seen his colour dramatically improve since he got off the boat and into the water. He was my buddy, and, accompanied by our instructor, J, we headed off to explore the rocks and grab some depth.

This was one of the best dives I've ever had in the UK. At least 15m vis, bright sunny weather, no serious currents or surge, and lots and lots of fish and lobsters. I tried out my new torch, marvelling at how it really did make it easier to see things even at shallow depths. We finned along, looking at lobsters and occasionally pausing to admire a passing seal, whose turn of speed we could only wish for!

We did our Deep Diver task; a straightforward out-and-back compass navigation swim on the bottom, worked our way up the wall, did a three-minute safety stop hanging onto the kelp, and surfaced, to be met with the words above.

The next hour and a half was spent drifting about as the owner tried to keep us safely anchored whilst trying to obtain a spare anchor from a nearby boat (I really hoped at one point he wasn't going to throw it into our boat) and fix the loose connection in the engine. This did NOTHING for the seasick among us, and all in all we were very relieved to hear the engine start up again!

We motored over to the buoy marking "the boilers", part of a wrecked old ship, and the site of our second dive. And as I descended down the line (wondering why the hell I could see a bathtub down there), I felt the exceptionally unwelcome sensation of my weight belt slipping around my waist. The wretched buckle had slipped along the belt, meaning that the buckle itself was now stuck under my jacket at the side, and my buddy wouldn't be able to find it in case of an emergency. I doubted it would come off, but... should I abort the dive?

I didn't, though I'm still not sure I made the right call there. If I had - no second dive. On the other hand, if my buddy had needed to get it off me, or it had slipped off completely... I did the dive holding the belt with one hand, which wasn't ideal, but did work. It didn't actually come off, but it was a severe nuisance, and I made a mental note that, first thing tomorrow, I was going to Ebay myself a new weight belt. (I did, and have it now.) A weight belt that won't release fast is technically known as a potentially fatal accident waiting to happen.

On the other hand, I still had my weight belt. J was the last one in, and we heard the following conversation:

"Pass us your weight belt, J... pass us your weight belt. Pass us your weight belt... you've dropped it, haven't you?"

He had, so our return home was slightly delayed as we fitted J with spare weights, and he went down there to look for it. (Senior instructors are able to dive alone safely, if they assess that it's safe to do so - the rest of us stick to diving in pairs.) One retrieved weight belt later, and we were hanging onto the boat, and heading for home! All in all, a great day.


*Rigid Inflatable Boat - popular for diving as they are fast, maneouvrable, and extremely hard to capsize.