Overheard in an Italian Restaurant in Newcastle

"Oh yessa, we getta the people in here, sometimes inna fancy dress. Rocky Horror Show, that is notta so good. Too strange. Reminds me of thatta MP, found dead in... mysterious circumstances. Issa how his companion musta been dressed, she look at him, go "Oh dear, he has croaked it. Oh well, onna to next appointment". You cannot getta the hookers these days. Look at Silvio Berlusconi, evenna the prostitutes lie about their age these days, 15-year-olds looka 22! Strange man. Who wants coffee? Dessert?"