How To Fit A Rear Reflector To A Mudguard

• Highly recommended (by me) since this gives drivers a good idea of where your bike actually is. Reflectors on the saddle post are helpful, but can be a little deceptive at night, since they show where the saddle is, not the rear wheel. Most are sold with the advice that you will need to drill a hole through the mudguard. Do not let this put you off, here’s how to do it even if you are a mechanical idiot (like me).

• You will require a couple of Phillips screwdrivers, one smaller than the other, the rear reflector, a black marker pen, latex gloves if you have them, possibly some Blu-Tack, and a rigid but thin board. This latter can be anything: cardboard, plastic, metal, antyhing so long as it will fit in between the mudguard and the tyre. This, of course, assumes that your mudguards are plastic. If they are metal, you may wish to trot down to your friendly cycle mechanic and smile nicely.

• Mark (with the pen) on the mudgard where you want the reflector to go. Put the board inbetween the tyre and the mudguard.

• Put the point of the small Phillips screwdriver against where you want the reflector to go, press it against the mudguard, and twist until you make a small hole. The board is a vital part of this operation since, to paraphrase the great Terry Pratchett, it takes a great deal of effort to push the screwdriver through the mudguard, and almost none whatsoever to put it all the way through into the tyre, which is a bugger.

• If the hole isn’t big enough, use the large Phillips screwdriver to widen it – insert and twist.

• Fit the screw through the mudguard, and fasten with the nut that came with it. Check as you do this that the screw is not rubbing against the tyre at all. it will weaken the tyre if it does. Hold the bike off the ground, spin the wheel, and listen for any sounds / feel for resistance against the tyre.

• You may find that the screw is slightly too long to put the reflector flat against the mudguard without the screw pressing against the tyre. This is why you have Blu-Tack. If this happens, get the reflector as close to the mudguard as you can without putting the screw against the tyre, then press the Blu-Tack in between the reflector and the mudguard. This is a good idea anyway, as it helps to hold the reflector onto the mudguard. Believe me when I say that whenever you turn the bike round, the rear reflector will get bashed against doors / walls / bike stands / whatever, so it needs to be very firmly fixed on.

• If you’re feeling fancy, colour in the Blu-Tack with the marker pen so that it doesn’t show.

• Done!

Toddlers With iPods: Some Further Thoughts on Cycling

1. Assume that all pedestrians you see have the road sense of toddlers with iPods, particularly if they happen to be students. Most of them aren’t, but this will prepare you to deal with the inevitable one or two who are, and who will step right out into the road without bothering to look. You would think that people who have voluntarily deprived themselves of the sense of hearing would be extra-vigilant when crossing roads, but it doesn’t work like that.

2. Ride assertively, but don’t be an arsehole. Give cars room to pass whenever you can, but only when it’s safe to do so. You have an equal right to be on the road, and you must claim it. If you need to pull out around a car and there’s another car behind you, get in position nice and early. If they have to slow down, they have to slow down. Drivers will deal with this far better than if you suddenly swerve out at the last minute.

3. Never, ever, undertake. Do not go up the left-hand side of a lorry or bus. More cyclists get killed doing this than any other manouevre. They can’t see you and they WILL squash you. Filtering up the left-hand side of a row of stopped cars at a traffic light is a different matter – UNLESS one of them is a lorry or bus!

4. Flashing lights are legal as of 2005. I used to think they weren’t, and rode with steady lights, but not any more. As a driver, I realised that when I saw a flashing white or red light, I immediately thought “bike”. This is the reaction you want. No other road vehicle uses flashing lights, so they immediately identify you as a bicycle, and they are more eye-catching than steady lights. My two cents – choose what suits you.

5. Keep the wheel reflectors on your bike. As a driver, often the only time I’ve seen a bike crossing a junction or road in front of me at night is when the headlights reflect off the distinctive rotating reflectors.

Stuff Which Is Not Essential, But Which You May Wish To Consider, Part the Last

With a special focus on maintaining the bike, to round things off.

15. Chain cleaner, solvent and sprocket brush

This is edging towards the “bike maintenance” side of things. A chain cleaner is really two things: a set of brushes that clip over the chain, and a concentrated solvent used to make up the solution in the brush holder that dissolves the grease and muck on the chain. You will need to buy this from a bike shop, or you could look online. No particular mechanical skills are required to do this, but it does take a willingness to spent 15-20 minutes cleaning the bike, then cleaning the chain cleaner brushes. A sprocket brush is used at the same time to get the muck and debris off the sprockets and chainwheels at the back of the bike (this is, of course, assuming you’re riding a bike with derailleur gears!). Most serious cyclists will do this at least once a month as cleaning the muck off helps to stop wear and tear on the chain and sprockets, leading to easier gear shifts and making the parts last longer. If you are going to do this, buy yourself some latex gloves! and you may want to think about getting a bike stand (see below).

16. Latex gloves

Usually available for a couple of quid from Wilkinsons / the pound shop, or anywhere that sells motoring supplies. Few things can stick to your fingers quite like the unique mixture of road muck and cycling oil that the bike chain gets covered in. Latex gloves are great for avoiding this. Pop them on before you do any work on the bike, peel them off and bin them at the end, problem solved. (If you do get cycle grease and muck on your fingers, a nail brush and neat washing up liquid is what’s required!).

17. Bike stand

Again, this is for if you’re getting more into cleaning and maintaining your bike. You will probably need to buy it from a bike shop. A bike stand supports the bike, holding the rear wheel off the ground. This allows you to rotate the pedals freely, which is essential if you’re trying to clean the chain – it is well-nigh impossible to hold the bike off the ground with one hand, hold the chain cleaner on with the other, and rotate the pedals! Also essential for if you get into maintaining your bike and need to adjust the gears. About £15-£20.

18. Multitool

Essentially a cycling Swiss Army knife. They often come in “bike repair kits” from Wilkinsons, etc., or you should be able to get them quite easily online or at the bike shop. They usually consist of a set of Allen keys, and a set of screwdriver heads, the idea being that you keep it with you to help make any adjustments / running repairs to the bike as required (they are best kept in your saddlebag, rack pack or panniers). Well worth getting since, even if you don’t plan on doing any bike repairs, someone else might be able to use it. If you do buy one, bear in mind that they can go rusty if they get soaked in the rain, so it may be wise to keep it in a plastic bag (a sandwich bag is about the right size!). And finally...

19. Trouser clips

You may or may not feel you need these. They do have a rather dorky, businessman-on-a-folding-bike type image, and a lot of people never bother with them. Personally, I tend to avoid the need for them by wearing trousers that fit closely and don’t flap about. Since my usual cycling apparel is a pair of El Cheapo trackie bottoms from Primak, I usually adjust them by using safety pins to pin together any loose fabric at the bottom of the trouser legs. I really don’t like my trousers flapping around when I’d riding; it’s distracting, and the worry that they might get stuck in the chain is one more thing on my mind that I can do without. I’m also not a fan of clips, however, since I’ve yet to find any that don’t feel as through they are about to slip down your leg, no matter how firmly you try to clip them on – another distraction I can do without. However, one thing I have found that works well is trouser bands. These are elasticated fluorescent bands that fasten with Velcro around your calves, and they are a lot more secure. You can buy them from Poundland for a quid each, and if you are lucky you can get the extra-dorky but highly visible ones with flashing lights on. I keep a pair in my panniers just in case!

Stuff Which Is Not Essential, But Which You May Wish To Consider, Part the Third

Some of you may have noticed a bias towards cycling and away from finishing up the Epic Tale of Glastonbury 2010. The reason is simple. I'm knackered and writing up a list of stuff that you need to go cycling with is way easier than dragging back my memory to June 2010, when the sun shone, life was simple, and I wasn't having to interview for my own job.

The Epic Tale of Glastonbury will be finished, probably some time in April.

Also, some of you who have read Nick's post may wonder what a cyclist in an Ozzie hat looks like. Here's a picture: wonder ye no more! (And yes, that is my bike in the background with the panniers on.)

More stuff to consider buying if you take up cycling:


12. Toe clips

Opinions are mixed. Some people feel they trap your feet on the pedals and prefer to ride without. Some people scorn them and prefer cleats; special pedals with special shoes, where the shoes clip onto the pedals. Personally, I find them the perfect compromise. They are much cheaper than cleats, not difficult to fit even if you are a mechanical incompetent, and mean that you don’t have to have two pairs of shoes: one with cleats for the bike, one without cleats for the rest of your day. They greatly improve your pedalling efficiency by holding your feet in the ideal position on the pedal, and meaning that your feet can’t slip off. There is a certain technique to getting your feet in both clips when starting off, but it takes around half an hour to master, and with practice you can do it with no thought. As for the trapping your feet thing, it’s not really an issue – pull your foot firmly backwards and it will come out of the clip!


13. Cycling glasses

Essentially wraparound shades that cover the whole of your eyes, including the sides. These are mainly handy for people who don’t wear glasses, as they keep wind / rain / flies out of your eyes, but people who do wear glasses may also find them handy! I have two pairs; a tinted pair for daytime, a clear pair for nighttime. Again, you can buy them cheaply on Ebay.


14. Water bottle

Available dead cheaply from anywhere that sells cycling supplies, but not often actually sold with the bike. Most bikes have a place on the frame – usually on the bottom tube – with holes where you can screw the water bottle holder onto the bike. Remember to remove it if you lock the bike up outside! Change the water in it frequently.